★★★☆☆

As I write, this film about two artists who fall in love while trying to make it big in LA has won seven Golden Globes and is nominated for fourteen Oscars. This makes me think that I’m missing something, because I was far from blown away by this mediocre musical. It desperately wanted to hearken back to the 50’s highs of Singing in the Rain and 42nd Street*, but it never quite managed to capture that same magic.

Let me start with the good: the movie had some wonderful cinematography. It was lit beautifully and there were lots of very pleasing oners that swept you through the action. Some excellent editing moments that were aesthetically interesting, if not semiotically. Whiplash proved that Damien Chazelle’s movie direction is first-rate. La La Land backs that up, but at the same time proves that his direction of musicals is somewhat second-rate. The acting was great. I could watch Emma Stone (Mia) and Ryan Gosling (Sebastian) act at each other all day. But as the person I saw it with pointed out to me, when did you ever see a musical that was saved by the acting? There were also skillful set design moments. Having lived with a dedicated jobbing pianist, I can confirm that sparse, empty and a piano is the accepted style.

Of the seven or so songs in the movie, there was one real earworm with interesting construction and lyrics and with real feeling (it’s the audition song). The rest had uninspiring lyrics. Oh, and the singing. It’s been said by others that Stone and Gosling can’t sing, but I don’t think that’s true. It felt to me that they were cast outside of their proper ranges and directed not to sing fully. This was probably to give a realistic “diegetic” feel to the singing. Most of the music that worked well was diegetic (apart from the audition song) but that’s not a great thing to say about a musical like this.

The choreography lacklustre. There was a fairly low key tap number, which seemed to only be there for the 50’s cred. During the waltz, I was so distracted by the fantastic photography and design that I forgot to watch the dancing. Not Singin’ in the Rain is it? In every musical, there should be at least one moment that at least goes halfway to taking your breath away. It’s at least got to make you grin and say “that was awesome.” Do you know what had better group choreography than the opening scene of La La Land? Season 6, Episode 7 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. 

One of the most distracting and annoying things about the movie was that the two main characters are arseholes and for no good reason. They are often impulsive and childish, with no stickability for their “love” that will “always [be there]”. If they could show the same level of commitment to their relationship that they show to their careers, they would know that one fight and one career-based diary clash should not end it. As for the fight, Mia never even gave it a chance to come to a head. She ran away. As for the diary clash, Seb was given a chance to reschedule that he turned down. This is how arseholes behave.  It also confused me why the beaming Keith (John Legend) was the antagonist. He was nothing but polite and passionate about his business. Also, J K Simmons has found a new typecast for himself as “Man Who Fires Jazz Musician”. I can only assume that was meant as a wry reference to Chazelle’s previous movie at the Oscars.

The plot was seemed to have no stakes. People don’t make it in Hollywood all the time. Mia had a welcoming home life to go back to, who would support her going back to school and becoming a lawyer, apparently. Seb has Keith, who apparently wants him in a $1000=a=week music job indefinitely. The fight scene at dinner was beautiful. The light, the photography,  the acting were all superb. I just didn’t really care. There are plenty of couples who make the high-intensity artist life work. Sacrifices are made, and some couples can even have multiple children while they hold down separate artistic careers. These two empty, puerile characters wanted it all their way or they wanted no one to have it. They are La La Land’s heroes.

If the point is to be strong and not compromise on one’s artistic integrity, then I suppose that’s admirable, to a point. After that point, one has to be realistic. If my girlfriend took a job in a band that paid $1000 a week, so that she could support me being a writer/actor, I’d at least show a little gratitude before encouraging her to give it up for her Art.

If I were to re-work this movie, the club scene towards the end with the medley would be the opening sequence. A story about a rekindled affair between the two would’ve had higher stakes.They could go for love, then eventually realise that it could never work because they both have their own lives now and they can’t give that up.

If this movie pips Moana to Best Original Song, it will be an outrage at the least.

* Which to be clear, isn’t a 50’s musical, but an 80’s musical emulating 30’s musicals.